Bridge to Nowhere, by William Kitcher

 "Bridge to Nowhere," by William Kitcher, Mystery Magazine, July 2024.

How far back can we trace the subgenre this story belongs to? The oldest comic tale I can think of about incompetent criminals is "The Ransom of Red Chief" by O. Henry (1907).  No doubt someone can name an earlier one.

The master of the field was Donald E. Westlake with hias Dortmunder novels, although he would argue that poor John D. was very competent, just highly unlucky. I'll admit the man could plan a crime brilliantly, but as for the accomplices he selected, well, he has to take some responsibility for picking them. 

In any case, let's look at today's example.  Greenizan is desperate for money so when an acquaintance named Murphy offers him a grand for doing a favor he doesn't see how he can say no.

He should have tried harder. Turns out the favor involves a corpse. And a bridge. What could possibly go wrong?

I won't say more about this short story except that it is well told, and it surprised me and made me laugh. What else do you want on a summer afternoon?

turmns kkkkkkkkk

Golden Parachute, by Travis Richardson

 

"Golden Parachute," by Travis Richardson, in Murder, Neat, edited by Michael Bracken and Barb Goffman, Level Short Books, 2024

I have a story in this book.

This is the fourth appearance on this page by my friend and fellow Sleuthsayer, and a slick tale it is.

Alex Dorrett, our narrator, founded a tech giant but he has just been kicked out, due to some poor decisions. Keep those last two words in mind because we are going to see a lot more poor decisions before this story wraps up.

He leaves his firm's offices with a dramatic exit I will not spoil for you, goes off drinking, and falls in with bad companions.  Companions who think there must be a way to glom onto some of the billionaire's wealth, if only they are clever enough to think of it.  Which they ain't, but they are violent enough to harm him if he can't find a way to satisfy them.  Which he will.

Here's a sample of our hero:

I talked nonstop, bitching about all the mistreatment and abuse that a billionaire like me had to endure from jerks... who harassed me about crap like ethics and decorum.  It's the kind of BS that kills the innovative freedom necessary for a tech founder to thrive.

Poor baby.  You'll have a lot of fun with this one.

The Hospital Boomerang, by Kevin R. Tipple

"The Hospital Boomerang," by Kevin R. Tipple, in Larceny and Last Chances, edited by Judy Penz Sheluk, Superior Shores Press, 2024.

The publisher sent me a free e-copy of this book.

My friend Kevin Tipple has written a fun story.

We're in a small town in Texas.  More specifically in a hospital where the narrator (nameless, I think) is waking up in a bed.  It's his second stay there:

Neither wrist was handcuffed to the rail of the bed. An improvement over my last visit.

As the tale unfolds we will learn about the events that put him in the hospital the first time (followed by prison) and the rather different circumstances that gained him a return trip. Ironically both visits are based on his making dubious decisions, but the outcomes are quite different.

Nice little twist at the end.

And Now, an Inspiring Story of Tragedy Overcome, by Joseph S. Walker

"And Now, an Inspiring Story of Tragedy Overcome," by Joseph S. Walker, in Three Strikes -- You're Dead!, edited by Donna  Andrews, Barb Goffman, and Marcia Talley, Wildside Press, 2024. 

My friend and fellow SleuthSayer seems to be slipping.  Here it is June and he has only had  two stories reviewed in this column.

It is an interesting tale of worlds colliding.  Lonnie Walsh is a second generation mobster.  His sister dies giving birth to the daughter of Brant, a worthless jerk of a husband.  Now Lonnie has to watch over little Kayla while trying to keep idiot Brant out of trouble.

Things get more complicated when Kayla turns out to have the desire and potential to be  a world-class figure skater.   The best thing in this story is Alicia Petkov, the skating coach, who is as hard-bitten as any mobster you are likely to meet.  

"I'm telling you it's very possible that at some point, a group of people in a small room will decide who to send to the Olympics.  When they have that discussion, we want Kayla to be the girl with the saintly dead mother. Not the girl with a gangster in the family."

It strikes me that a lot of Walker's best stories are about complicated families. This is a fine example. 

A Matter of Trust, by Barb Goffman

 "A Matter of Trust, by Barb Goffman, in Three Strikes -- You're Dead!, edited by Donna  Andrews, Barb Goffman, and Marcia Talley, Wildside Press, 2024.

This is the fourth story by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer to get reviewed in this space.

I suppose of all the sports that appear in this anthology bicycling is the one most likely to catch my attention, since I spend sometime every day pedaling.

Ethan and Jessica are married.  He works at home, she doesn't.  But that's not the problem. 

"Nothing says love like jelly... Donuts don't judge."

That's the problem.  While Jessica takes care of herself Ethan pampers himself with unhealthy food.  Jessica tries to get him bicycling every day but he finds ways around it.  

And, like a lot of people who lie to people they love, he stops trusting her.  A nice psychological tale with a satisfactory ending.

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bled, by Joseph S. D'Agnese

 "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bled," by Joseph S. D'Agnese, in Murder, Neat: A SleuthSayers Anthology, edited by Michael Bracken and Barb Goffman, Level Short, 2024.

I have a story in this book.

This nice historical tale is the third appearance here by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer, Joseph S. D'Agnese.

Greenwich Village has been a magnet for the artistic and the different for a long time.  This story is set in 1859 when such people flocked to Pfaff's a German-owned tavern.  When a theatre critic is murdered there one night it draws unwanted attention to the place. Things go on there that might get the place shut down if the police find out about it.

Clearly what is needed is an amateur sleuth who knows the place and the people and that turns out to be... Walt Whitman.  The poet is a regular, as is his acquaintance the famous illustrator Thomas Nast.  (It would have been cool if Nast could play Watson, but I suppose there was too much Whitman couldn't let him know.) 

Complicating the case is the fact that the critic was stabbed while sitting with a glass of poison.  Was this two attempts at murder, or a botched suicide, or something else?

Fascinating story with great period detail.  

Restoration Software, by Robert J. Binney.

 "Restoration Software," by Robert J. Binney, in The Killing Rain, edited by Jim Thomsen, Down and Out Books, 2024.

Let's talk humor.  Some stories are witty.  Some are quirky.  Some are downright farcical.  We are solidly in farce territory here.

This is the story of a Seattle private eye, not exactly a  native to the city, but one who has been kicking (ahem) around the northwest for a long time.  "He might be an eight-foot-tall mythological savage covered in mottled, tangled fur, but he was no dummy."

Yup. Sasquatch, P.I.

You may wonder how he could possibly do his work without being noticed, but that's not a problem.  

"I'm pretty good at being elusive."

His guest looked skeptical.

"Go ahead, try to take my picture."

But there is satire here too.  The villain is a highly recognizable Seattle type and his scheme is thoroughly Seattle-based.  Terrific story.

Where's Dookie? by Greg Fallis

 

"Where's Dookie?" by Greg Fallis, in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, May/June 2024.

This is the third appearance in this blog by Greg Fallis.  It is the second with these characters.

Hockney is a private eye.  Ellicott is an attorney for the Midwest Center for Artists' Rights. He hires Hockney after a painter's models are stolen.  The models are somewhat unusual because she a Kool-Aid artist, painting blown-up versions of classic Kool-Aid packets.

Seriously? Is there a market for such things?  Ellicott reminds Hockney that if a type of thing exists someone will collect them.  And some of those collectors want paintings of their precious items.

But, as I said, someone has swiped the painter's collection of packets.  What follows is a witty search for the loot and a man nicknamed Dookie (don't ask why).  I guessed the ending but that didn't stop me from enjoying this clever story.

Mine Eyes Dazzle, by M.K. Waller

 "Mine Eyes Dazzle," by M.K. Waller, in Dark of the Day, edited by Kaye George, Down and Out Books, 2024.

As you probably know by now, I read a lot of short stories.  I seldom take the time to reread one of them, but I did this one.  You might wind up doing the same.

Stephen is a blind lawyer, in his late forties.  Jean is his paralegal, almost a decade younger.  When they get married they declare the relationship a miracle, and it seems to be.

Until another miracle occurs; this time of the medical variety.  An experimental surgery provides Stephen with sight for the first time.  Suddenly he doesn't need Jean as he did before.

Things happen.  One of them is a total eclipse of the sun.  And that's all I will tell you about this clever story.

The Mysterious Woman in the Lifeguard Chair, by Bruce W. Most

 "The Mysterious Woman in the Lifeguard Chair," by Bruce W. Most, in Mystery Magazine, May 2024.

This is the second story by Most to get reviewed in this column and both have featured Weegee the Famous.  In real life Weegee was a freelance photographer, famous for his portraits of New York City at night, especially of crime scenes.

It's a hot summer night during World War II and Weegee is at Coney Island, using new infrared film to take pictures of lovers and other people hoping to find some relief from the heat on the beach.  He snaps a shot of a young woman alone in a lifeguard chair.

Two days later he gets a strange visitor: an angry man who somehow knows Weegee took a picture of the woman whom he claims was his sister. He offers an outrageous amount for the negative and any prints.  And then a woman's body is found...

Some nice twists and turns in this story which is rich in atmosphere.