Permanent Lent, by Peter Spiegelman

 "Permanent Lent," by Peter Spiegelman, in Brutal and Strange: Stories Inspired by the Songs of Elvis Costello, edited by Jim Fusilli, Down and Out Books, 2023.

The narrator is the driver and mechanic for a wealthy couple  he refers to sardonically as His Lordship and Her Ladyship.  The (new trophy) wife is a particular pain in the posterior. The teenage kids hate her, with good reason.  The narrator hates her with even more reason.

His efforts to help the daughter only make things worse.  Can he save the situation?  

A lot of unexpected twists in this one.

Eleanor Rigby, by John Copenhaver

"Eleanor Rigby," by John Copenhaver, in Happiness is A Warm Gun: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of the Beatles, edited by Josh Pachter, Down and Out Books, 2023.

I have a story in this book.

One of the interesting things about  themed anthologies is how different authors choose wildly different approaches.  If the theme is a song, do you riff on the plot (like last week's story) or take a completely different approach?

Jimmy is married to Clark, a successful writer.  The relationship works pretty well but Jimmy feels Clark has secrets, things he can't really know. "It's like staring at a bright-flecked pet goldfish.  You admire it, feed it, clean its bowl, but you can't quite reach it.  After all, you breathe air, while it breathes water.  That's what you sign up for when you marry a writer."

I hope my wife doesn't think of me as a goldfish, but that's neither here nor there.

One day Jimmy sees Baxter, a former friend of Clark's, leaving their apartment building.  And he learns about a secret those two share, not an infidelity, but something much worse.  

How does that relate to the song "Eleanor Rigby?" Ah, that's the cleverest part of the story.

I'll Be Back, by Christine Poulson

"I'll Be Back," by Christine Poulson, in Happiness is A Warm Gun: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of the Beatles, edited by Josh Pachter, Down and Out Books, 2023.

I have a story in this book.

A few weeks ago I wrote here that I prefer my horror human. I will let you decide whether this story is horror, and if so whether my preference apples.

Lindsay and Julian plan a vacation in the hopes of enlivening their marriage.  Unfortunately their preferred destination falls through so they are offered a larger and more expensive house to stay in.  Turns out there is a reason the house is not so popular: several murders took place there.

As soon as Lindsay approaches the place she gets a bad feeling, like something doesn't want her to go in... I should mention that Lindsay had a bad accident years ago that leaves her with headaches.  Is there a connection between her illness and the unwelcoming sensation?

A nicely suspenseful and spooky tale with layers of complication I haven't even mentioned.

Prisoner of Love, by James W. Ziskin

 "Prisoner of Love," by James W. Ziskin, in Get Up Offa That Thing: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of James Brown, edited by Gary Phillips, Down and Out Books, 2023.

This is the second story by Ziskin I have reviewed here. 

Dialog is character.  If fiction is told in first person, narrative is also character.  

Though I cannot claim to be a handsome man, I, Nelson Blanchard am -- as it happens -- a rich one.  Quite rich, in fact. And that state of affairs has long compensated for my lack of physical allure.

I think that piece tells you a lot more about Nelson than just his financial state and appearance.  His personality rings through, doesn't it?

Nelson has been summoned to a hotel where a wife-swapping event has been going on. While annoyed that he was left out (does his personality have something to do with it?) he is being asked to solve the murder by strangulation of one of the participants.  

Why him and not the police? Well, he is a doctor.  And if they can solve the case before the cops arrive things will be a lot less messy.

And so Nelson interrogates the suspects, and falls in love and/or lust with at least one of them.  A funny and clever story. 

Shamu, World's Greatest Detective, by Richie Narvaez

 

"Shamu, World's Greatest Detective," by Richie Narvaez, in Killin' Time in San Diego, edited by Holly West, Down and Out Books, 2023.

Well, you can't argue about truth in advertising.  The title tells you exactly what this story is about.  Shamu is an orca at SeaWorld (the eighteenth to bear that name) and thanks to new technology she is able to communicate with people.  Turns out she is, as the title says, a brilliant detective.  The story is narrated by her assistant, Angie Gomez.

A billionaire who owns a baseball team wants to hire Shamu to find a missing ballplayer.  Shamu turns him down because, she says, his moustache "reminded me of a sea lion with whom I once shared billing.  An unapologetic ham." But when the ballplayer is murdered and his sister comes looking for help, Shamu takes on the case.

One of the pleasures of this story is Shamu's dialog.  Here she is talking to her police nemesis: "I can solve the case in time for you to get home and rest your minuscule human brain." 

I can't help wondering whether this story was an entry for the Black Orchid Novella Award.  It has several winks to Rex Stout fans.  (Shamu's use of the word "flummery, for example.) And it cleverly forces the protagonist to be an "armchair" detective.  Shamu ain't going to the scene of the crime.

Clever and fun.

Dead Even, by J.R. Sanders

 

"Dead Even," by J.R. Sanders, in Killin' Time in San Diego, edited by Holly West, Down and Out Books, 2023.

A nice private eye story. I can't quite figure out when it takes place, except that Hollywood is swarming with B-movie cowboys. One of them is a friend of our narrator, P.I. Nate Ross, and that friend has a friend and business partner named (all right, nicknamed) Pooter.  Pooter has two things of great interest: a ton of money and a girlfriend named Cassie Plumm.

Nate, "being both by profession and disposition  [a] suspicious guy" thought she might be more interested in Pooter's bankroll than his charming personality.  Then Cassie comes to him for his professional help.  A former boyfriend is threatening her and she wants Nate to eliminate him.  Nate doesn't specialize in the kind of elimination she is hoping for but he is willing to look into the matter.

I won't go into detail about what happens but it hits a lot of the classic hardboiled dick motifs.  And it's a fun read.

Your 10th Bond Is Free!, by Wendall Thomas

 "Your 10th Bond Is Free!, by Wendall Thomas, Crime Under the Sun, A Sisters in Crime Anthology, edited by Matt Coyle, Naomi Hirahara, and Tammy Kaehler, Down and Out Books, 2023. 

Ava is struggling to keep the family business afloat after her father's death.  The business happens to be As You Were Bail Bonds.  This means that as she grew up her family friends were cops and petty criminals.  Petty because her father didn't have enough money to bail out, say murderers.

Our business model depended on aspirational, incompetent criminals accused of crimes with a bail amount  under twenty-five grand.

I love that word aspirational.

When her business card is found in a homicide victim's pocket Ava's life and career are endangered.  A quirky story that provides a new look at the bail bond business.

 

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday, by Sean McCluskey

"Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday," by Sean McCluskey,  in Mickey Finn, Volume 3, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2022.

Some stories are mostly about the telling, by which I mean a tale which might seem ordinary if presented in the usual manner takes on extra merit by being given an unusual structure.  As the title of this story implies, we have an example today.

In effect, we are going to find out how the adventure ends and then return to see what led up to it.  I am reminded of Richard Stark's novels about the thief Parker .  Stark's books  are usually told in four parts, three of which are seen from Parker's point of view.  Part Three shifts to another character, often ending with him being fatally surprised by Parker's reappearance.  Then in Part Four we find out what our protagonist had been up to.

Alon Schulman's daughter has been kidnapped by bad guys who want in on his smuggling operation.  (The way he learns of the kidnapping is one of the cleverest parts of the story.)  Schulman contacts a law firm who sends Crenshaw who they  describe as efficient and discreet.  He also turns out to be deadly as heck.

One reason this story is best told out of order is that several people turn out to have schemes of their own, and can't be trusted  But you will enjoy it and you can trust me on that.

The Delivery, by Andrew Welsh-Huggins

"The Delivery," by Andrew Welsh-Huggins, in Mickey Finn, Volume 3, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2022.

This is the fifth story by Welsh-Huggins to appear on this page, and the third about Mercury Carter.  Mr. Carter is a deliveryman but he doesn't work for Fed Ex.  He's the guy you call when someone else would like to get their hands on the package, and is willing to kill for it.

In that case the clients are an elderly couple and even before he reaches their house he has good reason to suspect the bad guys are waiting for him.  There's several of them and Carter is just one relatively small guy.  The kind people tend to underestimate.  

It's a good suspense story, with one flaw in my opinion: the author gives Carter a convenient ability so unlikely it leans toward super power territory.  I enjoyed it anyway.

The Sounds of Silence, by Gabriel Valjan

 "The Sounds of Silence," by Gabriel Valjan, in Paranoia Blues: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of Paul Simon, edited by Josh Pachter, Down and Out Books, 2022.

It is New York City in 1977, the summer of Sam.  There is a murderer loose; not the Son of Sam.  This killer is targeting Asians in subway tunnels.  Police Detective Joseph Burrow figures out what's going on, largely because of his experiences during the Vietnam War. 

But the war has left him with more than just useful experience: it has damaged his hearing.  Can he can keep his career as a cop wearing hearing aids?  Can he function without them?  What if even they don't help?

A clever story of a man trying to solve a life-and-death problem while coping with his own crisis.

Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School, by Brian Thornton

 "Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School," by Brian Thornton, in Lawyers, Guns, and Money: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Music of Warren Zevon, edited by Libby Cudmore and Art Taylor, Down and Out Books, 2022.

My friend and fellow SleuthSayer Brian Thornton has written something unusual and strangely familiar. 

The story takes place during prohibition in a Western mining town. The narrator is an unnamed private detective, working for an equally unnamed agency.  His boss is the Old Man.

If you are familiar with the classics of our field you already know which author is being saluted here (or, if you prefer, ripped off).  It's a good story, although I prefer the more elaborate version of this game that  Evan Lewis did a few years ago.

I suppose the moral is, if you don't give your protagonist a name it is not hard for an other author to borrow him.

Getting back to the story, our nameless hero is spending a week in a brothel, because the agency has heard that a guy they are looking for might drop by.  The target does show up, with a gun, and things get complicated.  I liked the ending a lot.

Born a Ramblin' Man, by Michel Lee Garrett

"Born a Ramblin' Man," by Michel Lee Garrett, in Trouble No More: Crime Fiction Inspired by Southern Rock and the Blues, edited by Mark Westmoreland, Down & Out Books 2021.  

This is a pretty silly story.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Ray is the ramblin' man.  He decides to leave Nashville with only one possession: a guitar he recently "liberated."  It's not a particularly wonderful guitar; he just wanted one.

His plan for leaving town is to sneak into the back of a truck full of fireworks.  Might work okay, except that there is already some contraband cargo in the vehicle: two women who do not want to be headed wherever the driver is taking them.

Luckily they have a rescuer on board.  Unluckily, the hero is Ray, and Ray, well...

"How goddamn dumb are you?"

"Um... fairly."

The fun part of the story is the conversation between Ray and the two prisoners.  And the fireworks, both literal and figurative.

Temptation is a Gun, by James D.F. Hannah

 

"Temptation is a Gun," by James D.F. Hannah, in Trouble No More: Crime Fiction Inspired by Southern Rock and the Blues, edited by Mark Westmoreland, Down & Out Books 2021. 

The evening after he gets out of prison after 22 years, Roy returns to the dingy tavern where his life went off the rails.

If you are now thinking: "Hmm.  Sounds like noir," then congratulations.  You have just aced your quiz in Subgenre Recognition 101. 

The story slips between Roy's present visit to Murphy's Tavern and his first fateful encounter there at age 16.  Turns out that back then he met Murphy's much-abused wife.  And you know what happens when a noir protagonist meets an attractive woman.

Classic noir with some clever twists.  

Killing Calhoun Again, by Alan Orloff

 "Killing Calhoun Again," by Alan Orloff, in This Time For Sure: Bouchercon Anthology 2021, edited by Hank Phillippi Ryan,  Down & Out Books, 2021. 

"The first time I killed Royce Calhoun I’d been floating on three Wild Turkeys and a raft of rage."

And so we begin.  Jake Pardee got jealous because Calhoun had been "doing the nasty" with his girlfriend Angela May, so he shot him, twice., and then took off  Apparently he should have gone for the hat trick, because Jake's friend Mouse tells him that Calhoun is back, insufficiently dead, and still hanging around with Angela May.  

"I had no reason to doubt Mouse, not about this anyhow. He spouted some conspiracy nonsense at times, and he had trouble always knowing right from wrong, but when it came to something like this— ratting someone out— he was usually dead on."

Charming language these low-lifes speak. 

I admit it was the last sentence of the story - not so much a twist as a punchline - that made this my favorite of the week.