Splash, by Mat Coward

 

"Splash," by Mat Coward, in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

This is the ninth story by Mat Coward to make it to this blog. He is not shy about his political stance.  For example, I subscribe to  Rebel Britannia, his free newsletter in which he provides a weekly history lesson from "this island's 2,000-year record of disobedience and dissent." But I don't think his views have ever come out as clearly in his stories as in this one.

Whatever happens -- environmental crises, pandemics, economic collapses -- rich people always end up richer, with the sole exception of those events which involve rich people having their heads chopped off.  It is largely for this reason that I am strongly in favour of rich people having their heads chopped off on a pretty regular basis.

And so we meet Pewter who has the unlikely occupation of helping the disgustingly rich (not to be confused with the merely rich or the insanely rich) find new ways to spend their money.  No doubt encounters with his clients led him to his opinion of decapitation.

But that isn't why he becomes a serial killer.  The reason for that is more bizarre.  And funnier. 

This is a very funny story.  Consider Pewter's friend Ozzy who is "chronically unemployed after the Metropolitan Police decided they could probably manage without his help. You might think say that someone has got to be pretty extraordinarily awful to be sacked by the Met, but in his defence Ozzy always pointed out that it wasn't really his fault, it was the fault of the methamphetamine."

Sounds reasonable to me.  

One note: I am sure this story was written and purchased long before a certain event that happened late last year.  An example of how art and life chase each other's tails.

 

The Eyes That Won't Die, by Michael Mallory

 

"The Eyes That Won't Die," by Michael Mallory, in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

This is the seventh appearance in this space by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer Michael Mallory.

The title reads like horror, but the story reads like classic Black Mask.

It's 1946 and Jim Beckley survived the war but, like many of his comrades, he is having trouble with the peace.  He is living with his wife (who he only met three months before they married) in a hastily built Quonset hut village for ex-GIs and their families.  Memories of people he killed are haunting him and no one seems to understand.  Jobs are hard to find and so, for Jim, is the gumption to hunt for one. 

When the ex-GI living in the other half of his barrack is murdered and dumped in the street, Jim is  suspected of the murder.  If you know this sort of story you know that he is going to wind up investigating the killing, and so he does.

I am a sucker for stories in which the protagonist has  chance at redemption.  This is a good one. 

Into the Weeds, by Alice Hatcher

 "Into the Weeds," by Alice Hatcher, in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

I have said before that my favorite stories tend to have at least one of four characteristics: a brilliant premise,  heightened language,  a twist ending, or, as in this case, great characters. 

Mark Rousseau, the narrator, is the only cop in a small town.  He laments that "There's a certain kind of loneliness that comes from living in a place where you know everyone, but where most people associate you with the worst day of their lives."

 An interesting observation, but Officer Rousseau is not the great character.  That would be Mrs. Stockard, eighty-five years old and, well: "People who don't know any better -- tourists -- would probably call Mrs. Stockard 'spry' or 'feisty'. I would call her 'mean.'"

I would agree.  She might say she simply doesn't suffer fools gladly but she thinks just about everyone is a fool, or lazy, or a junkie, etc.

She interrupts the cop's breakfast to tell him she struck a man on a back road that morning. Not her fault, of course. He "walked into my truck... Am I talking too fast for you?"

There aren't a lot of surprises in this story.  The whole plot is spelled out pretty clearly as we go.  But you will enjoy spending some time with Mrs. S., even if Rousseau does not.

The Guardianship of Willie Musselburgh, by Kevin Egan

"The Guardianship of Willie Musselburgh," by Kevin Egan, Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

I was surprised to note that this is the first time I have reviewed one of Egan's stories here, since I have enjoyed many of them.  They have frequently featured a man who works as a troubleshooter for judges in Manhattan, but this tale is about a different part of the legal system - one I don't remember ever reading a story about.  

Keiran Lenahan is a lawyer turned golf pro.  When the titular Willie, an elderly designer of golf clubs, takes a fall which puts him in a coma, a judge assigns Lenahan to be the court evaluator.  That means he has to decide who should be Willie's guardian, in charge of care decisions and controlling his assets.  One candidate is Willie's nephew; the other is his live-in caretaker.  

Our hero looks into the pair and finds red flags.  This being a crime story, there will be crime.

Egan, a retired attorney, shows us a side of the law far from Perry Mason, but important and interesting. 

Burned, by Hugh Lessig

 "Burned," by Hugh Lessig, in Mickey Finn 5, edited by Michael Bracken,  Down & Out Books, 2025.

This is Lessig's second appearance in this column.  That's not so unusual, but it is also his second visit here this month. That''s pretty rare.

Being a single mom can be tough.  Now imagine if your only child is  a teenage boy determined to run off to find his father who vanished years before.  That's the situation Jenna finds herself in.

A new neighbor moves into the apartment complex.  "Brooks Badger. That sounds like a cartoon character, but it really is my name." For a while he seems like a good influence on Jenna's son, Henry.  But she is suspicious (and honestly, so are you, right?)  

Turns out Brooks has a secret or two in his past.  Turns out Jenna does too.  Don't underestimate her.  A nice suspense story with its twists slowly revealed.