No One Will Believe You, by Paul Ryan O'Connor

 

"No One Will Believe You," by Paul Ryan O'Connor, in Mystery Magazine, 2024.

Ayden is not a very lucky guy.  He's  a dishwasher at a restaurant in the South Bronx and shares an apartment with four people (since he provides the least rent money, he gets the couch).

But his troubles really begin when he gets mugged at gun point by the most famous actor in the world, Ted Pace.  (You won't have any trouble guessing who O'Connor was thinking of when he created this character.) 

“You can’t get away with this,” Ayden said . “You’re a movie star . I know who you are . Everyone knows who you are .”

“No one will believe you,” Ted Pace said...

And of course, he's right.  Telling the cops he was mugged by a movie star only gets Ayden in deep trouble.  Understandably, he finds it hard to let bygones be bygones, especially when something in his very empty stolen wallet turns out to be valuable.

Can our risk-averse hero find a way to beat the risk-loving celebrity?  With a little bit of luck in this very clever story, he will.

What is Your... by Mat Coward

 

"What is Your..." by Mat Coward, in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, January/February 2024.

This is the eighth story by Coward to appear in this blog.

Sometimes a writer faces the challenge of finding something new in a formula.  But sometimes there is no formula and the writer is producing something sui generis, belonging to no category. Not for the first time, Coward has done the latter.

Our protagonist is an actor, not as young or successful as he would like to be, but with enough fame that he is occasional asked to fill out the type of questionnaires  that show up in popular magazines.  What is your chief failing?  Where are you at your happiest?

He is tired of filling them out and says he is always tempted to answer What is your guilty pleasure? with "Child molestation and fox hunting."

This story takes the form of such a questionnaire and his dry comments on each query and the answers he would like to give.

Is there a crime involved?  Oh yes, and the nature will slowly reveal itself in this charming, witty, tale.

Who Wants to Kill Someone? by Michael Mallory

 

"Who Wants to Kill Someone?" by Michael Mallory, in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2024. 

This is the sixth appearance in this blog by my friend Michael Mallory. He is also an actor and, as is often the case, his show biz experience shows in this story.  

Last year I wrote here about "if this goes on" stories, the subgenre of science fiction which looks at a current trend and considers where it might be leading.  In this case the trend is reality TV.  

Bruce Locklear was a casting director until a disastrous mistake got him blackballed from the business.  In  desperation he signs up for a TV show called Who Wants to Kill Someone?  The cast is flown to a Central American country and one member is assigned the role of murderer and is then actually expected to kill a fellow performer.  Not surprisingly, the show has been a huge hit.

Not surprisingly, fiction being what it is, Bruce is given the role of murderer.  And that's when things get complicated because not everyone is who they appear to be and the actual plot of the show is different than it seems - but no less dangerous.  

A clever concept and a fun, suspenseful story.

Come On Eileen, by Joseph S. Walker

 "Come On Eileen," by Joseph S. Walker, in (I Just) Died in Your Arms, edited by J. Alan Hartman, White City Press, 2024.

Minor correction made.  My apologies.

This week continues my embarrassing fanboy status with my friend  Joseph S. Walker, since this is his twelfth appearance here.

 Liam Walsh grew up in a neighborhood called Little Dublin, ruled over by Patrick Flynn.  His father worked for Flynn, and he adored Flynn's daughter, Eileen.

Then, at a off-to-college party for Eileen, Flynn shot Liam's parents, killing his mother and crippling his father.  Obviously Liam's life is changed forever. I won't reveal the many layers of what happens next. It's a terrific and suspenseful story.

Mall Cop Christmas Parade, by Joslyn Chase

 "Mall Cop Christmas Parade," by Joslyn Chase, in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, January/February  2024.

'Tis the merry season in California and Bradford Hines has a ticket to get back to his family in Maryland.  But he's in a busy mall and before he can grab that plane he wants to grab a wallet out of a man's jacket.  

That part's easy, but Brad is not as  smooth a pickpocket as he thinks and a female security guard catches him in the act.  But is she really a security guard? 

This is a wonderfully convuluted story full of wrong turns, twists, and back flips. I enjoyed it a lot.

Mexican Radio, by Pete Barnstrom

 "Mexican Radio," by Pete Barnstrom, in Mystery Magazine, February 2024.

I have to start by offering my thanks to Mystery Magazine.  When they told me my story would be on the cover they offered to send me an e-copy.  I didnt ask for one since I already had an e-subscription, if that's a word.  But after I read the issue and was ready to write this review, through the miracle of technology and no doubt my own carelessness, the magazine had e-vanished.  I wrote to the publishers and in less than two hours, on a Sunday afternoon, no less, I had the copy I needed. Fast work!

Now, onto the story.

Marteens is a Los Angeles private eye in the 1950s.  He has flown to Michigan to meet a possible client, a disc jockey named Herb Campuss.  Herb works for (or possibly owns) one of those stations that can be heard virtually coast to coast.  It broadcasts from Mexico where stations are allowed a slightly louder signal.

Herb wants Marteens to drive to El Paso and give an envelope apparently full of cash to the love of his life, who  happens to be married to another man, a man who also may own the radio station.  Is this about love?  Or money? Or are there other motives involved?

Barnstrom has weaved a very tangled web and you will enjoy getting tangled in it. 

Destroyer of Worlds, by dbschlosser

 

"Destroyer of Worlds," by dbschlosser, in Black Cat Weekly, 127.

Tanner is a homicide cop with an enviable record of clearing cases.  Unfortunately a lot of that is due to his partner.  Not his official partner, but the unofficial one who has embedded herself in his life.  Her name is Vishnu or, if you prefer, Death.

Yes, Death, in the form of a beautiful woman, shows up every time Tanner starts on a case.  Why? She won't explain.  In fact, she says if she told him too much it would mean the end.  The end as in, well, notice the title of the story.

I feel like I may be making this sound comic.  It isn't.  The story is serious and the explanation of what's going on is more logical, less fantastical than you might expect.  I enjoyed it a lot.   

Better Than A Dating App, by V.S. Kemanis

 "Better Than A Dating App," by V.S. Kemanis, in Mystery Magazine, February 2024.

Sum up a mystery story in one word: Suspenseful. Intriguing.  Amusing. Outrageous. 

In this case the word is: charming.

Benny is a pickpocket, and probably has other nefarious habits as well.  He has decided to move to New York and boards a plane, where he encounters a woman who, well, let's say they share certain interests.  Could this be the start of a beautiful if criminous relationship?

It's not my job to suggest titles to authors but... As I read this story I had somehow decided that the title of this one was just plain "Dating App."  I actually liked that more.

I enjoyed the gamesmanship very much.

 

Best of 2023

 

Over at SleuthSayers today I review the best short mysteries of the year, all selected from the ones I reviewed here.  

The Best Justice Money Can Buy, by C.C. Finlay

"The Best Justice Money Can Buy," by C.C. Finlay, in The Reinvented Detective, edited by Cat Rambo and Jennifer Brozek, Caezik SF and Fantasy, 2023. 

Robert A. Heinlein wrote a short story called "If This Goes On---" That title sums up a subgenre of science fiction.  Here is a trend I see in present day society; what if it continues to its logical conclusion?

We already have for-profit prisons.  Some people want to replace most public institutions with private ones.  So, Finlay asks, what if the whole justice system was for-profit?

Crimes would not be investigated unless the victims, or someone else, pay for the police time.  Criminals could shell out dough to get out of prison.  (Well, today we call that hiring a good lawyer, don't we?)  And so on.

Finlay doesn't lecture us.  In the best tradition of the field he shows, not tells.  Detective Chung is not a fan of the for-profit system but today it works in her favor, because she eye-witnessed the son of the wealthiest woman in the country committing a hit and run.  And this gives her leverage, if she can figure out how to use it...