"Freezer Burn," by April Kelly, in Mystery Magazine, January 2024.
This is the second appearance in my reviews by April Kelly.
Kelly writes funny. In this case she writes funny about that familiar topic, the incompetent criminal. Two of them, in fact: Lyle and Pooter Floyd. These brothers are desperate for money.
Now you may be asking yourself why they didn’t just get jobs, but that would be a dead giveaway you aren’t from around here. Floyds didn’t get jobs; they got married. Once upon a time, their father snagged himself a homely teacher rapidly moving past her sell-by date, walked her down the aisle, and for the next twenty-five years really tested the “for poorer” part of her vows...
Lacking the charm to convince an employable woman to join the family, the brothers have decided to make a living robbing storage units.
"Lyle and Pooter scored enough from their bi-weekly foraging to keep beer in the fridge and porn on the cable," but their ambitions are soon raised to a higher level.
Ah, hubris will come for us all. A very funny story.
