Sunday, January 17, 2016
'Twas The Night Before, by Todd Robinson
The best story in this collection of holiday tales from Thuglit Magazine was penned by the editor himself, alias Big Daddy Thug.
Boo and Junior are lifelong buddies, stuck holding down the fort in an empty Boston bar on Christmas Eve. They are both orphans, no one to get festive with. Noel makes Boo miserable and Junior happy, which makes Boo feel even worse. (Oh, and one thing to get straight: Boo calls Junior his "heterosexual life partner," but they are both male (unless I am reading the story wrong). So either Robinson or Boo really means platonic life partners.)
Back to the story. Into the joint wanders a semi-regular customer name Darla and a man she has apparently just met at another bar where she works.
Boo says: "I didn't like him immediately. He had that cocky Ivy League swagger, chin held at an arrogant angle. His overcoat looked extremely soft and extremely expensive. But maybe I was just feeling jealous of somebody with a beautiful woman on his arm on the worst night of my year...."
Turns out Boo's instincts are on target. Caleb, for such is the jerk's name, attempts to give Darla a date rape drug. Our heroes spot the scheme and things get complicated. And messy. And funny.
"So...do you guys have a plan?"
"For what?" Junior asked.
"To get him back into his room past the front desk."
"Improvise?" I said.
"That sounded like a question," Darla said.
I thought for a second. "Yes. Yes it did."
From the floor of the backseat erupted a terrified, "FLUMMWRAAAA!"
And happy holidays to all you thugs out there..