The Scarlatti Skip, by Richard Helms

"The Scarlatti Skip," by Richard Helms, in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

 This is the twelfth story by Helms to reach this blog.

Private eye Eamon Gold does a lot of skip tracing for bail bonders but this assignment is more preventative: Keep an eye on the Fiddle Killer and make sure she doesn't run. So why is Veronica Scarlatti called the Fiddle Killer? 

"'Darren Wojohowski was learning to play,' Doogie said.  'According to the police reports, his progress was slow. His girlfriend Veronica became irritated and emptied her revolver into the violin. Tragically it was tucked under Darren's chin at the time.'"

Some of us may be inclined to sympathize.  But Veronica, an attractive young woman, knows she is looking at "twenty years in a box."  She swears she just wants to spend the last few days in unsupervised peace, but Eamon is being paid to keep her under supervision. 

You will not be surprised to know she makes a run for it.  Things get complicated.  Then they get worse.  A very enjoyable story.

 

Fifteen Minutes From Fame, by Mark Thielman

 

"Fifteen Minutes From Fame," by Mark Thielman, in Black Cat Weekly, #183, 2025.

This is the eleventh appearance in this column by fellow SleuthSayer Mark Thielman.

What we have here is a very silly story.  If you read my reviews you know I don't consider that a bad thing.

Johnny is a man with a mission.  He recently discovered that he had been arrested for misdemeanors in almost every state in the union. He figures if he can score all fifty social media fame and fortune must surely follow.

Alas, his plans keep getting foiled by cooperative victims, changing laws, and disinterested employees.

The clerk shook his head.  "I've given my notice. I'm out of this place.  Steal everything in here; I don't care."

But a man with real determination to do the wrong thing has to succeed. Doesn't he?

Very funny stuff.

 

Splash, by Mat Coward

 

"Splash," by Mat Coward, in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, January/February 2025.

This is the ninth story by Mat Coward to make it to this blog. He is not shy about his political stance.  For example, I subscribe to  Rebel Britannia, his free newsletter in which he provides a weekly history lesson from "this island's 2,000-year record of disobedience and dissent." But I don't think his views have ever come out as clearly in his stories as in this one.

Whatever happens -- environmental crises, pandemics, economic collapses -- rich people always end up richer, with the sole exception of those events which involve rich people having their heads chopped off.  It is largely for this reason that I am strongly in favour of rich people having their heads chopped off on a pretty regular basis.

And so we meet Pewter who has the unlikely occupation of helping the disgustingly rich (not to be confused with the merely rich or the insanely rich) find new ways to spend their money.  No doubt encounters with his clients led him to his opinion of decapitation.

But that isn't why he becomes a serial killer.  The reason for that is more bizarre.  And funnier. 

This is a very funny story.  Consider Pewter's friend Ozzy who is "chronically unemployed after the Metropolitan Police decided they could probably manage without his help. You might think say that someone has got to be pretty extraordinarily awful to be sacked by the Met, but in his defence Ozzy always pointed out that it wasn't really his fault, it was the fault of the methamphetamine."

Sounds reasonable to me.  

One note: I am sure this story was written and purchased long before a certain event that happened late last year.  An example of how art and life chase each other's tails.