Return to Sender, by Gar Anthony Haywood

 "Return to Sender," by Gar Anthony Haywood, in Jukes and Tonks, edited by Michael Bracken and Gary Phillips, Down & Out Books, 2021.

Somebody stole Binny's favorite possession right out of his bar: "his late father's jukebox, the one that had been sitting near the door off the parking lot, next to the candy machine, since the fall of 1961."  

Binny suspects that his ex-wife Peoria (what a great name) is behind the theft.  He's right. But how can he prove it, much less get his beloved box back?

A tall order.  But luckily the clowns who did the  theft damaged the machine and needed to find a repairman, and that lead to...

A convoluted but enjoyable story.

We Are The Stonewall Girls, by Joseph S. Walker

 "We Are The Stonewall Girls," by Joseph S. Walker, in More Groovy Gumshoes: Private Eyes in the Psychedelic Sixties,, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2023.

This is the eighth appearance in this space by Joseph S. Walker, which puts him near the top of the heap.

Narrator Neil Fell is a gay private eye in New York City in June 1969.  That plus the title should tell you what the story is going to be about.

A wealthy man named Grierson comes to Fell with a problem.  He is not gay but he has made friends with some of the young men in Christopher Park, the ones who call themselves queens.  Now one of them, Alice, has disappeared and Grierson is worried about him. He has approached police and other private eyes but they assume he is interested for sexual reasons and are anything but helpful.

Fell takes on the case and, as you can imagine, winds up involved in the Stonewall Riots.  I thought I knew that subject fairly well but I learned a lot of details.  

The case is interesting as well, and the solution is satisfactory.    

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday, by Sean McCluskey

"Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday," by Sean McCluskey,  in Mickey Finn, Volume 3, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2022.

Some stories are mostly about the telling, by which I mean a tale which might seem ordinary if presented in the usual manner takes on extra merit by being given an unusual structure.  As the title of this story implies, we have an example today.

In effect, we are going to find out how the adventure ends and then return to see what led up to it.  I am reminded of Richard Stark's novels about the thief Parker .  Stark's books  are usually told in four parts, three of which are seen from Parker's point of view.  Part Three shifts to another character, often ending with him being fatally surprised by Parker's reappearance.  Then in Part Four we find out what our protagonist had been up to.

Alon Schulman's daughter has been kidnapped by bad guys who want in on his smuggling operation.  (The way he learns of the kidnapping is one of the cleverest parts of the story.)  Schulman contacts a law firm who sends Crenshaw who they  describe as efficient and discreet.  He also turns out to be deadly as heck.

One reason this story is best told out of order is that several people turn out to have schemes of their own, and can't be trusted  But you will enjoy it and you can trust me on that.

The Right Size of Favor, by Joseph S. Walker

 

"The Right Size of Favor," by Joseph S. Walker, in Sleuths Just Wanna Have Fun, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2025.

This is the fourteenth story by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer to be reviewed here.  The nearest competitor has twelve.

Hard Line Graham is a legendary private eye of the classical tough guy school.  Unfortunately, he's not the op handling this case.  Instead we have:

"My name is Josh Branson. I'm a seventh-grade English teacher, and I'm married to Hard Line Graham's daughter.  I didn't get a summer school assignment, and Hard Line doesn't like people sitting around, so he told me I'm working for him.  He sent me here because he owes somebody a big enough favor to help Brenda Roman, but not a big enough one to show up himself.  I have precious little idea what I'm doing and I'm frankly terrified."

The Brenda Roman mentioned above is the firm's client, the county coordinator for Hands Across America, a campaign to raise money for charity.  (All the stories in this book are tied to some actual event from the 1980s.)

Someone is demanding a share of the money raised for charity: a protection racket.  Our teacher-turned-P.I. has no trouble finding the gangsters but they may not be so easy to deal with: "Christ, this guy's huge. He looks like he bullies offensive linemen for their lunch money." 

That's good writing, sharp and funny.  You'll find a lot more like it before Josh finds a solution in this delightful story.

Ash Tuesday, by M.S. Greene

 

"Ash Tuesday," by M.S. Greene, in Malice Domestic: Mystery Most Humorous, edited by John Betancourt, Michael Bracken, and Carla Coupe, Wildside Press, 2025.

My job here is to review  the best mystery story I read each week.  So: what's a mystery story?  Otto Penzler defined it as a story in which crime or the threat of crime is a major element.

By that definition this story doesn't count.  Oh, you could split hairs and point to some laws being broken or bent, but it is hardly the point of the tale.  But this is a story of detection, so I decree that it qualifies.

Trent, Colin, and Ray are roommates and Trent is having troubles. First of all, he is struggling with the LSAT exams. Second, he has an unrequited crush on Ray. And third, there's the corpse on the hall table.

Well, not a corpse exactly.  A box containing a bag of cremated remains. It was mailed to their apartment by persons unknown for reasons unknown.  And so the detection begins.  This is a convoluted tale that seems like it should fall apart in a flurry of coincidences, but Greene connects the dots in a satisfying manner.

The Delivery, by Andrew Welsh-Huggins

"The Delivery," by Andrew Welsh-Huggins, in Mickey Finn, Volume 3, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2022.

This is the fifth story by Welsh-Huggins to appear on this page, and the third about Mercury Carter.  Mr. Carter is a deliveryman but he doesn't work for Fed Ex.  He's the guy you call when someone else would like to get their hands on the package, and is willing to kill for it.

In that case the clients are an elderly couple and even before he reaches their house he has good reason to suspect the bad guys are waiting for him.  There's several of them and Carter is just one relatively small guy.  The kind people tend to underestimate.  

It's a good suspense story, with one flaw in my opinion: the author gives Carter a convenient ability so unlikely it leans toward super power territory.  I enjoyed it anyway.

Bitter Cold, by Shannon Taft

 

"Bitter Cold," by Shannon Taft, in Notorious in North Texas, edited by Michael Bracken, North Dallas Chapter of Sisters in Crime, 2024.

The big question with historical fiction is: How much is too much? I'm talking about detail. You want the reader to believe you know what you're talking about, but you don't want them thinking they are reading a history book and falling asleep over it.

It may help if you're writing about something the reader knows nothing about, which is certainly the fact in this story - at least with this reader. 

It's January 1918, and the narrator, Major Evans, is the commander of military police at Camp Taliaferro, where American and Canadian pilots are being trained to fight and fly in the World War.  It is one of the coldest winters in Texas history and the troops are not prepared nor equipped for it. That could explain how Canadian Flight Cadet Charlie MacDonald wound up dead in his tent, except there is evidence that he was strangled.

Evans has to investigate the murder quickly while being pressured by the brass to play down a dangerous international incident that could play havoc with the already low morale.  

The story felt very real to me.

Burying Oliver, by John M. Floyd

"Burying Oliver," by John M. Floyd, in Mickey Finn, Volume 3, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2022.

 This is the third appearance here by my fellow SleuthSayer.

 When our story begins Bucky Harper is digging what seems to be a grave.  Sheriff Morton arrives and demands to know what he's doing.  Bucky says he is burying his dog Oliver.  The lawman doesn't recall any such dog and thinks Bucky might be doing something quite different, and even suggests a motive.

What follows is more or less the opposite of a twist plot. Instead things happen step by step with the inevitability of Greek tragedy.  And at the center of the tale is calm, phlegmatic, Bucky, just taking it all one shovel-load at a time.

Clever and satisfying.

Retro Rhapsody by Hugh Lessig

 

"Retro Rhapsody," by Hugh Lessig,   in Scattered, Smothered, Covered & Chunked: Crime Fiction Inspired by Waffle House, edited by Michael Bracken and Stacy Woodson, Down and Out Books, 2024.

Judy manages a diner.  Her problem employee is a fifty-something guy, twice her age, named Doutree who, wrongly, thinks he has a chance with her.

Her new employee is a cook named Army who is dependable, good-looking, and maybe has a secret.  Or a whole lot of secrets. 

Maybe one of these guys can help with the other. Or maybe he can make things much worse.

This is one of those stories where new layers are revealed every few pages.  I enjoyed uncovering them.

Truth or Die, by Austin S. Camacho

 "Truth or Die," by Austin S. Camacho, in Scattered, Smothered, Covered & Chunked: Crime Fiction Inspired by Waffle House, edited by Michael Bracken and Stacy Woodson, Down and Out Books, 2024.

A few pages into this tale I felt awash in a cozy wave of nostalgia, which is odd since it is not a cozy or nostalgic story. Let me explain.

A century ago a staple of Black Mask Magazine was a tale in which a stranger arrived in a corrupt big town or  small city and started clashing with the resident gang of crooks (or competing gangs).  It takes a while for the reader to figure out whether the newcomer is a good guy or a bad guy - or, this being the world of hardboiled, a good bad guy or bad good one. 

This story begins with Skye getting off a bus at 4:25 in the morning.  She quickly finds an injured man in a dumpster and she pulls him out. Does that make her a good guy? Then she arranges to meet up with the head of one of two rival mobs.  Bad guy?

A nice and suspenseful story.  I was left with one question: Where does the first dead body end up? 

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bled, by Joseph S. D'Agnese

 "When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bled," by Joseph S. D'Agnese, in Murder, Neat: A SleuthSayers Anthology, edited by Michael Bracken and Barb Goffman, Level Short, 2024.

I have a story in this book.

This nice historical tale is the third appearance here by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer, Joseph S. D'Agnese.

Greenwich Village has been a magnet for the artistic and the different for a long time.  This story is set in 1859 when such people flocked to Pfaff's a German-owned tavern.  When a theatre critic is murdered there one night it draws unwanted attention to the place. Things go on there that might get the place shut down if the police find out about it.

Clearly what is needed is an amateur sleuth who knows the place and the people and that turns out to be... Walt Whitman.  The poet is a regular, as is his acquaintance the famous illustrator Thomas Nast.  (It would have been cool if Nast could play Watson, but I suppose there was too much Whitman couldn't let him know.) 

Complicating the case is the fact that the critic was stabbed while sitting with a glass of poison.  Was this two attempts at murder, or a botched suicide, or something else?

Fascinating story with great period detail.  

Chasing the Straight, by Trey R. Barker

"Chasing the Straight," by Trey R. Barker, in The Eyes of Texas, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2019.

It is fashionable today for private eyes (and a lot of other protagonists) to have personal problems that affect their cases.  Derrick Kruse has them, in spades.  And that last part was an unintentional pun, as you shall see.

Kruse appears to be autistic and has OCD, which manifests as an obsession ith numbers.  He is bad at poker because he is so desperate for straights, five numbers in a row.  No doubt contributing to his problems is the fact that his father was an abusive monster who, naturally, picked on the kid who was different.

When Kruse spots a burglar in the middle of the night he encounters a woman with an abusive husband who has made off with her daughter, his stepchild.  Naturally, this is not a case he can leave in the hands of the cops. 

There are some unexpected twists an turns in this one.

Hole in my Soul, by John M. Floyd

  "Hole in my Soul," by John M. Floyd, in Janie's Got a Gun: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Music of Aerosmith, edited by Michael Bracken, White City Press, 2024.

 This is the fourth appearance here by my friend and fellow SleuthSayer.

What can I say about this terrific story? Not much without giving things away.  So let's talk about two different stories I read decades ago.  I don't recall the authors or titles.

The first tale I think I read in Queen or Hitchcock, probably the latter.  We follow a man walking through a city street, doing petty, nasty things.  It was my first encounter with the concept of keying a car.  He meets a young couple with their newborn baby and tells them "He doesn't look like either of you," leaving them in a shouting match.  Then he gets to his office and we realize that he works for the manufacturer of a  headache remedy and we have just seen him doing his job.

I believe I heard a high school teacher read the second story aloud.  I long thought it was by James Thurber, but I have never found it in his work.  We follow a man down a city street as he does minor good deeds, making everyone's life just a little nicer.  He gets home and his wife cheerfully tells him about her day, keying cars, and otherwise making people's lives slightly worse.  They agree that the next day they will change roles.

Okay, now on to Floyd's story.  We follow a man, the narrator, as he strolls down a city street, but first he saves a child from dying in a horrible accident...  And I won't tell you about the rest of his day.

These tales are all variations on what I have named the Unknown Narrator story in which the reader knows nothing about the main character except what he does or what people say about him.  The fun is finding out what he is up to.  And this one was a lot of fun.

Golden Parachute, by Travis Richardson

 

"Golden Parachute," by Travis Richardson, in Murder, Neat, edited by Michael Bracken and Barb Goffman, Level Short Books, 2024

I have a story in this book.

This is the fourth appearance on this page by my friend and fellow Sleuthsayer, and a slick tale it is.

Alex Dorrett, our narrator, founded a tech giant but he has just been kicked out, due to some poor decisions. Keep those last two words in mind because we are going to see a lot more poor decisions before this story wraps up.

He leaves his firm's offices with a dramatic exit I will not spoil for you, goes off drinking, and falls in with bad companions.  Companions who think there must be a way to glom onto some of the billionaire's wealth, if only they are clever enough to think of it.  Which they ain't, but they are violent enough to harm him if he can't find a way to satisfy them.  Which he will.

Here's a sample of our hero:

I talked nonstop, bitching about all the mistreatment and abuse that a billionaire like me had to endure from jerks... who harassed me about crap like ethics and decorum.  It's the kind of BS that kills the innovative freedom necessary for a tech founder to thrive.

Poor baby.  You'll have a lot of fun with this one.

The Mailman, by Andrew Welsh-Huggins

 "The Mailman," by Andrew Welsh-Huggins, in Mickey Finn, volume 1, edited by Michael Bracken, Down & Out Books, 2020.

This is the author's third appearance on this page.  

When was the last time I reviewed a good 'ol suspense story?  Been a while, I think.

The nameless protagonist is a deliveryman.  He tells his contact that he has never lost a package.

"A package?" his contact replies.  "Jesus Christ, we're talking about a woman.  A mother and child."

As the story goes on we learn more about why the couple is on the run, and the danger they face.  Because some of the rules get broken the deliveryman finds himself in deep trouble: one small man with no gun up against two bigger, heavily armed toughs.  

Will he find a way to deliver the goods?  I'm rooting for him.  You will find the outcome satisfactory.

Burned, by Hugh Lessig

 "Burned," by Hugh Lessig, in Mickey Finn 5, edited by Michael Bracken,  Down & Out Books, 2025.

This is Lessig's second appearance in this column.  That's not so unusual, but it is also his second visit here this month. That''s pretty rare.

Being a single mom can be tough.  Now imagine if your only child is  a teenage boy determined to run off to find his father who vanished years before.  That's the situation Jenna finds herself in.

A new neighbor moves into the apartment complex.  "Brooks Badger. That sounds like a cartoon character, but it really is my name." For a while he seems like a good influence on Jenna's son, Henry.  But she is suspicious (and honestly, so are you, right?)  

Turns out Brooks has a secret or two in his past.  Turns out Jenna does too.  Don't underestimate her.  A nice suspense story with its twists slowly revealed.

West of the Ashley, by Richard Helms

 

"West  of the Ashley," by Richard Helms, in Prohibition Peepers: Private Eyes During the Noble Experiment, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books 2023.

This is the ninth appearance in my column by Richard Helms. A perusal of those tales shows that he is one of my favorite current authors of private eye stories. One reason for that is that he finds unusual things for his P.I.s to do.

Take, for instance, Cletus Nobile, a World War I veteran, now doing the gumshoe gig in Charleston. His current assignment? Figure out who is selling unauthorized booze in the segregated section of town. "You can sell all you want west of the Ashley River.  Nobody cares what you do out there.  Try to sell your hooch south of the Citadel and between the rivers, you'll dance with the devil, and he always leads."

Good writing, good plot.

See Humble and Die, by RIchard Helms

"See Humble and Die," by Richard Helms, in The Eyes of Texas, edited by Michael Bracken, Down and Out Books, 2019.

Helms is making his fourth appearance on this page, with a pretty straight-forward private eye story.

Huck Spence retired after thirty-some years in the Texas Rangers, got bored, and applied for a PI license.  Most of his work turned out to be serving subpoenas.  Usually not a very challenging gig.

One day he goes to Humble, not far from Houston,  to serve a guy named Ralph Oakley who skipped out on jury duty on the very day that "the district judge's diverticulitis was flaring up.  Judge was in the mood to knock broomsticks up some asses."

Our hero tracks luckless Ralph down and then somebody gets murdered and Huck's Ranger instincts take over.  He wants to know whodunit and whether he was partly responsible.

A neatly plotted little tale.

Clickbait, by Mark R. Kehl

"Clickbait," by Mark R. Kehl, in Mickey Finn, volume 1, edited by Michael Bracken, Down & Out Books, 2020.

The night of the home invasion, Bobby Lyon was busy jabbing a seventy-three-old index finger at his smart phone, reading reactions to the day's auction.

 That's how we start.  Lyon is a washed-up action movie star, now in a wheelchair, waiting to be moved into a senior home after his possessions were sold to pay ex-wives, the IRS, etc.  But now he may be getting more action than he wants...

I guessed where this story was going, but not every good tale needs a surprise ending.  This one is mostly about heightened language.

The despair that had grown familiar since the world had started tearing away his life in increasingly larger and bloodier chunks embraced him like a ravenous ghost.

Another sound, heavy but muffled, like Frankenstein's monster in bunny slippers.

...words and low laughs, both respectful and irreverent at the same time, like atheists in church.

Mr. Kehl is a master of similes.

Killers, by Brendan DuBois

"Killers, A Story of Love in Four Acts," by Brendan DuBois, in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery magazine, November/December 2020.

This is the ninth appearance in this space by DuBois, tying him with Michael Bracken.  Other than high quality, it doesn't have much in common with his other stories here, which tended to be long tales of good guys overcoming bad guys. "Killers," on the other hand, is a short and quirky tale about somewhat eccentric baddies.

Palmer and York are ex-cops, turned to a more profitable career as hitmen.  They are sitting in a car one night, waiting for a couple who they have been assigned to attend to.  Alas, the targets are late and the old friends run out of things to talk about.  And so, to keep awake, Palmer says: "Tell me the most romantic thing you've ever done."

Well.  That's a surprising turn.  What follows are a couple of revealing anecdotes from the killers' past.  And in the last scene we see how they are affected by these memories.

I thought I knew where this charming story was headed.  DuBois fooled me completely.